I would probably close up port 80 in your firewall, so the Spam Filter isn't accessible on the public Internet. There doesn't seem to be a need for it to be accessible in this fashion - unless users need to remotely log into it for some reason.
You would need to ask the ISP the following:
"I need a Reverse DNS record adding/changing. Please configure my xxx.xxx.xxx.43 IP address so it has a reverse DNS record which maps to mailhost.pshinc.com."
They should know how to do this instantly and get it done for you. It could take a few hours or even days to propogate through the DNS system.
Setting up Reverse DNS is completely independent of Earthlink who host your other DNS records. Your A and MX records seem fine, so Earthlink should not need to get involved here.
-Matt