You cannot do this on your own. The other side has to make changes as well because Exchange 2003 doesn't do opportunist TLS.
You would purchase an SSL certificate for your preferred host name (tls.example.com) and place it on a second SMTP virtual server, which is either using its own port, or ideally its own IP address. Yo would then tell anyone who wants to send email to you to use that alternative host address, rather than your MX address.
For sending email, you will need to know the same sort of information - dedicated host name or the same host. An SMTP connector would be created. For domains with a dedicated host, a separate SMTP connector for each one will be required. For servers that use the same MX record host name for TLS, the same SMTP connector can be used. In both cases the use TLS/SLL option would be enabled.
Simon.